What a concept… for someone who took 5.5 years to take ‘proper’ holiday (just because, rather than at Christmas) the concept of just stopping, literally not doing anything, or having anywhere to be, is just bizarre.
A few things I have noticed this week:
My phone isn’t important. OK, well to be honest, I had my phone in my handbag all weekend, on silent, and over the course of that time I ran out the battery, and couldn’t find the charger. And I didn’t even notice. I did have a few calls I needed to make, but I was so relaxed, so in the moment, enjoying my break and doing my thing that I forgot. And guess what? The world didn’t end.
I love reading. I guess I have mentioned this before, but the fact is I read 5 books over the weekend until now, and I am halfway through the 6th. Being transported into new worlds with every turn of the page is a kind of everyday magic. NB: The amount of books I have read may be a direct cause of completely forgetting my phone.
I love feeling good. If I had tried to take some time out ten years ago, I would be spending my time doing VERY different things. (involving a large quantity of vino, no doubt) but this week has been made up of early nights and sleeping well (waking up without an alarm, letting my body tell me when I’m ready) drinking a lot of herbal tea, yoga, Reiki, studying my herbalism course, and just generally doing awesome healthy stuff.
I’m not ready to commit to anything just yet. Symptomatic of 6 years in one place no doubt, but after one week of no commitments, I’ve realised that this is exactly what I need to be doing in this present moment. I’m doing exactly what I need to get myself wherever the heck I am going to end up. For a super-organised, methodical, slightly OCD (or rather OCT as my workmates told me!) this is a strange concept – and part of letting go, and being in the moment.
I am excited. And some days I’m not really sure what I am excited about – but I have laughter bubbling away just below the surface, a smile never far from my face, and a renewed sense of appreciation for the life I am living. I sat in the sun the other day, engrossed in my book, and a sun-shower passed by – somewhere along the line I’d just forgotten the feel of raindrops caressing my skin, and I felt so blessed in that moment that I could just stop and experience this.
So as I round out the week, I’m left with a feeling of profound gratitude, and the realisation that I am living what I have been coaching people all these many years: we control our destiny. We have the wonderful ability to choose – to make decisions about our life every single day.